<spatial and temporal entanglement of many-voicings/voices>
<systematic transgressive nonsensical writing/typing/dashing/uttering—>
Gazing upon a thin blue sky under a heavy blanket,
the inquisitive eyes become tangible. Pushing and pulling to remain,
Nothing escapes the desiring-machines’ 1.
Inflaming brain cells,
Contracting what was diffused
Enlarging what is desiring here,
Or is it everywhere?
The following text was written by the members of sssttteeeaaammm in multilogue with each other. After an initial period of chain correspondence between Nele, June and Kata, it was open to being edited by members of the world wide web as a body in becoming and dissolving, it extends tentacles that tickle, squeeze and retract. After a period of writing together with our readers, this third iteration is the last of this experiment – following the flow of the past we are entering the now.
As we patiently, and at times painfully, observe our intimate struggle with the desire to hold on to a solid ground, we are constantly being transformed by the forces of utterances of the other: A (per-)formative desire to break free from concrete coherence lights up.
Desire! How will you persist and permeate on a terrain that evades formulas and words? We know that you cannot be coerced, convinced, nor conquered. What draws near our proximity to encounter each other fully? How do we make sense of the long-inscribed desire, deep in our bodies that occupies, takes over and expands? The traces it leaves, lineages that are formed, all lay a path for a future. Might we make a turn every time as the line extending to the future becomes clear? Curving and folding, we diverge from the line.
Our bodies take on the learning process of a helm, letting the memories of water transform our physical wrappings with its push and pull, splashing, lifting, bashing and gentle folding. The water waves an invitation to meet the invisible others, it is up to us to reach out and the ripples join.
Constant division, wrapping, (re-)iteration, discharge and reload – returning, spiralling, crushing. Desire follows the movement of water. We are engulfed within and right next to it.
Turning left confronts us with the past, summoning and reassembling in front of inquisitive eyes. An intended trajectory speaks to the directional force of the spirit, that, by turning right, rips open a wound for an underappreciated future. We wish to drift on the open sea and still carry the shore with us, in fear of conviction in the eyes of the other. What is there, beyond what we can know – how do we act amidst our entangled desires and unknowable past and future?
Energy/desire level: HIGH/continuous palpation
Energy/desire level: VARIED/sinking-floating
Energy/desire level: LOW/start to swim!
Desire wants to bash and swirl, throw the kings off their thrones, and let them dissolve to the bottom of the sea into marine snow – finally life-giving.
We desire to curve instead of going straight, and thus permeate and dissolve into many instead of bouncing back at the borders. Taking on different shapes and morph perpetually brings us face to face with the desiring-machine that is enclosed by fear, strengthened by rhetoric, and deadened by structure. Here we depart, a resonating body that is lightheaded, moving in directions that are unguided and unpredictable in their configurations. From here on, no more answers! Only answering, a perpetual dialogue caught in between utterances.
We laps into the sprawl,
These shimmering lights
allure us around and forward
We dance and stumble together,
Balancing on every temporary tip of gravity
A multi-headed creature,
sensing and directing towards multiplicities at once.
As agile cartographers,
we, the being-in-dissolving,
Dive into the open sea of saturated
There is a fear of being
the residue of a life-environment-entanglement
floating endlessly in paths
Given to chance-matter.
Ceasing to occupy,
but be permeable through thin membranes of roots –
(re-)tuning into the resonance2
of the world.
Scrap off the sticker of me,
and see the invisible threads
at the tip of each of our fingers
Plucked by the ever intensifying
Entanglement, folding of me-you
Desire wants to become meso, the place of acts, resonating all over bodies and surfaces.
A place where things meet, the known, unknown, recognizable, unrecognizable, sensible and insensible, is a liquid world. It tickles and permeates, contesting our knowing guarded border of self, challenging our affinity to a stable ground. This is where we find the me-you entanglement and cavern a space in the now fold with membranes that desire to resist, fight back and destroy. How can you withstand the lingering pain of the other-that-judges?
The me/you/we are maintained through fragile thin threads and films that entangle us. When I break free from the engulfing films, will you drift away or will you persistently establish new threads that bind us, no matter the temporality, as a spider weaving a net on a boat parked for the night, facing a swirling depth that we will never be equipped to fathom or escape from.
If the process of becoming many necessitates dizziness and sensations of drowning, will you still find joy in being many?